Thursday, July 28, 2011


These are the very first pictures we got of Arthur! I think he was about 4 months old here. It's kind of sad for me to think about how much time we've missed with him. You know the mom conversation where the soon to be mom is almost scolded for sleeping in? You know the comments like

"You just wait!"

"You better get your sleep now because..."

Yeah, I'm sort of tired of these comments. For a lot of reasons, but mainly because I would have LOVED to be the one to get up in the middle of the night with Arthur during those tender, newborn weeks. Don't get me wrong, I am all about people telling it like it is! I'm not into sugar-coating life struggles. I just feel like sometimes the way mothers give advice feels like a threat! For a mom-to-be filled with insecurity, the last thing I want to feel is threatened. I want you to tell me the truth, but I also want to be encouraged that I can do this.

Please know that I love you all, little mommy friends! I just thought I would share a little bit about what it feels like to be a mom who has missed the first 8 months of Arthur's little life.

Wow! I did not see this post going here when I started writing today, but there you have it!


  1. Love the pictures! He's so beautiful! I know what you mean about the advice thing. My husband lost his mom and dad before we met and people say things all the time like "oh you are so lucky not to have a mother-in-law to fight with" or "how great that you can spend all your holidays with your family." I know it comes from a nice place but it truly hurts. I am sure the "advice" about sleeping, etc is the same and I don't look forward to it. He'll be home before you know it. Praying for this in-between time.

  2. grateful for your honesty! you can do it and you'll do it beautifully! everyone goes into parenting with a bit of naivete and you learn quickly by trial and error. no mom knows what she is doing 100% of the time no matter how well she hides it! if you ever need to be sure you aren't the only mom out there feeling clueless, just give me a call - i've got HUNDREDS of stories of my mistakes and idiotic things I've done! :) I'm glad to share. And look, Lila is still alive and happy - what more could a mama ask for?

  3. what sweet photos! he's such a beautiful boy! i totally understand where you're coming from about the "look on the bright side" type comments with regard to adoption... there really is no bright side to missing so much of your child's life, but here's to those sleepless nights coming very, very soon!!! :)

  4. I nearly slapped the fire out of someone in Wendy's today. I get it. I really do.

    I love this picture. Arthur rocks. (And he's such an Arthur! Seriously, if the little mistake in our paperwork hadn't happened, you wouldn't have Arthur. You'd have some other kid who is definitely not Arthur.)

    Soon Heather. You'll be there soon.

  5. There are plenty of late nights, early mornings, and middle of the nights. But you can absolutely do it! It wont even seem hard while you are doing it, because there will be no where else that you would rather be than holding that precious little man. He will be here so soon!! And I would be willing to bet that even when he is sleeping soundly, there will be times when you sit up with him just to stare at his sweet face!

    So I say... You should sleep all you can now...because it might make the time go by quicker!

  6. Arthur is such a cutie! I totally understand. I hear on a daily basis things like that from the ladies I work with. I've been there for almost 6 years and it's still the same thing. Thanks for sharing, I hope he comes home quickly!!