Sunday, February 5, 2012

THE TRUTH

the truth is... I have stopped to write a few times and each time I have gently backed away, perhaps for fear of what might come out... or for fear that I will be misunderstood.

the truth is... I thought that after having Arthur home, my little page would be flooded with pictures, videos, adoption advice... I thought that even though my life was chaos it somehow wouldn't phase me because we have our boy home!

the truth is... I'm sad! I miss my home, I miss my friends SO MUCH! I miss Aaron. I miss Kansas City. I miss the snow... what?? ... I miss my job.

Arthur is most definitely my ray of sunshine each and every day, but this has been a very hard transition. I have wrestled with the way this all went down. I have racked my brain and tried to find peace about the timing of this move, the purpose of this move, the discomfort of this move... I haven't gotten answers I love, or found complete resolution, but the Lord has been gracious hear me and give me some much needed perspective.

First of all... remember that blog a few posts back where I was having a pity party? Complaining about life and our FREE apartment? I mean, really? What a brat! There are so many people who would kill to live in a place like this for a few months! And those people deserve this break more than we do. Thank you Lord for that little slap on the wrist

... now let's get back to today's pity party where I'm all "whoa is me, I miss my beautiful city and my beautiful friends". In a moment of grief and confusion this morning, the Lord revealed something so important to me! I'm not the only one who had to leave their home and their city and their beautiful friends! Arthur has just done the same! And despite having a mother who is a bit unraveled, he's handling it with grace and courage and laughter! He is growing and thriving! He is not letting this hold him back. He is embracing the life he has now!

So let this be the first of many important things my son will teach me :) I'm so inspired by this little person.