Walking into the conference on Friday, I expected to find encouragement, support, community and maybe some good tools to be successful as a parent. And, somehow, walking away from the conference I felt, confused, scared, stressed and sort of alone. NOT what I expected at all!
The very first break out session was all about foster care. The speaker was from Cornerstone church in California. After he and his wife found out that they couldn't have kids of their own, they looked into being foster parents. He shared story after story about his experience fostering kids, loving on them and then learning how to let them go. He talked about how the final goal with foster care is reunification with their parents. He talked about God's Sovereignty. He is ruler over all, and these children are not our children. These are God's children. I thought it was so beautiful that this man's desire for these kids was to reunite them with their parents even if it didn't seem to be what was best in his eyes. He was fully trusting God with these kids even when it didn't make sense.
Walking out of that first break out session, I have to admit, I was starting to feel insecure about our decision. My heart was starting to break for these families! A lot of children are orphaned in Ethiopia because of poverty. Poverty? If that's the only thing keeping Arthur from growing up in Ethiopia with his mother, then there's got to be a better solution. right? I don't know Arthur's story, these are just the things I was thinking about. It was really hard for me to go to these places in my mind. Especially since tomorrow will be two weeks on the waiting list!
I believe that Arthur was always meant come into our home. I just feel like, now I have a bigger picture and a better understanding of what we're doing, and moving forward I wonder if we can talk about more solutions to this problem.